The story about Neil is an interesting one which I never really thought about till the questions you raised surrounding the whole complex issue. I do recall my uncle Neil who is in fact my cousin Neil. Classic large catholic family 7 boys and 1 girl (Margaret) who I believe was the youngest.
What I most recall is the fall out when he discovered the truth and the massive impact it had on relationships between everyone involved.
As far as I know Neil went on to do OK. Within the confines of a working class northern town. Any dysfunction thereafter was that of any ‘normal catholic’ family.
The point I would like to make is that his adoption was probably around 1950. The practice of grandparent adoption was pretty wide-spread and abortion wasn’t a (safe) option. The Welfare State was only created in 1948 and had not impacted yet.
The more I think about it the more (especially in that era) it’s a dark family secret that is never talked about. Everybody knows and it’s always referred to in hushed tones and ‘kept in the family’.
In fact it’s led me to think more about his mother Margaret, my dad’s sister. I didn’t know her terribly well but from what I can remember she was a tough old bird who ran a back street boozer in Preston. She was always champion of the underdog and took wayward waifs and strays under her wing.
Obviously I don’t know the details but it’s amazing when you think back and put all the pieces of the jigsaw together you get a clearer picture.
My mum always said ‘they treated her like shite’. That is not language and terminology that you would normally associate with my mother so it must come from some knowledge of terrible injustice to Margaret.
Also reminiscent of that era was the finger of blame on the women/girl and the shame (especially catholic shame). The fact it takes a man to create the life is conveniently forgotten about and if he’s not around to take responsibility (i.e. marry in that era). Then the girl is the fallen slag. The more unpleasant scenarios are not considered.
What I most recall is the fall out when he discovered the truth and the massive impact it had on relationships between everyone involved.
As far as I know Neil went on to do OK. Within the confines of a working class northern town. Any dysfunction thereafter was that of any ‘normal catholic’ family.
The point I would like to make is that his adoption was probably around 1950. The practice of grandparent adoption was pretty wide-spread and abortion wasn’t a (safe) option. The Welfare State was only created in 1948 and had not impacted yet.
The more I think about it the more (especially in that era) it’s a dark family secret that is never talked about. Everybody knows and it’s always referred to in hushed tones and ‘kept in the family’.
In fact it’s led me to think more about his mother Margaret, my dad’s sister. I didn’t know her terribly well but from what I can remember she was a tough old bird who ran a back street boozer in Preston. She was always champion of the underdog and took wayward waifs and strays under her wing.
Obviously I don’t know the details but it’s amazing when you think back and put all the pieces of the jigsaw together you get a clearer picture.
My mum always said ‘they treated her like shite’. That is not language and terminology that you would normally associate with my mother so it must come from some knowledge of terrible injustice to Margaret.
Also reminiscent of that era was the finger of blame on the women/girl and the shame (especially catholic shame). The fact it takes a man to create the life is conveniently forgotten about and if he’s not around to take responsibility (i.e. marry in that era). Then the girl is the fallen slag. The more unpleasant scenarios are not considered.
